Algae for Oil

So my uncle is a scientist who works for a university in the Pacific Northwest. He was in town today and over breakfast at Village Inn he started telling everyone about his current work: turning algae into oil. He even pulled out his laptop to show up where we could find the oil inside the algae. It was like watching a nerdy prospector with one tooth yell out "there's oiiiil in them there organelles!!! OIL, I TELLS YA!"

Personally, I think if he's going to be using alchemy to turn crap into other crap, he should be turning lead into gold or water into wine. But I had to be polite and the idea did seem intriguing, so I asked questions, which he ignored. He dodged when I asked him exactly how much oil you could squeeze out of the algae.

He also claimed that the algae they worked with was genetically-engineered to be virtually indestructible. When I asked him what they did at the lab to make sure this mutant pond-scum didn't get into Puget Sound and bloom like an onion at Outback Steakhouse, he seemed genuinely perplexed.

"That's a good question."

...seriously? A Berkeley-educated, PhD biology professor hasn't thought through the consequences of what happens if his $500 million mutant algae makes its way into the ecosystem? What if it becomes self-aware and decides to start calling its own shots like Skynet?

The algae decided our fate in a microsecond: extermination

All in all, I found his algae-mutate-for-drops-of-oil proposal tantalizing, but economically questionable. And slightly terrifying. He did encourage me to invest in algae farms, saying that pond scum oil would be the wave of the future. Eh. I'll think I'll put my money on emu oil.

If I *had* money, that is.

Chomsky, King of the Jews?

Quote of the Day:

"I know that not all Jews are bad. I personally love Chomsky" -- My friend "Oussa" from Tunisia, re: Jews

So I got into a discussion with Oussa about U.S. policy in the Middle East via MSN. Fuuuuuun. Don't get me wrong, Oussa is awesome and I love talking to her, but conversations about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict are always tough, especially when your interlocutor is Arab, you're American, and you have to defend a decades-long pissing contest with the Soviet Union and the line of neo-con bullshit spewing from Washington.

Still, the best exchange of the night in my opinion went as follows:

ME: I hope you know that I agree with you on a lot of your points. I'm just playing Devil's advocate :)
OUSSA: Yeah!! You are! Pfft!
ME: Lol
ME: I'm going to be a lawyer, it's what I have to do ;-)
OUSSA: Lol. You'll set criminals free!! I hate you! [NOTE: She didn't really mean that...I think]

Now, I know *usually* saying that someone will set criminals free is a bad thing, but I took it as a compliment that I am good at arguing and that I'd make an excellent defense attorney. Of course, I'd never do that. I have morals. For now. Also, on a personal note, I'm thinking about maybe becoming an entertainment lawyer. I know! How I can go from immigrant advocacy to filing frivilous lawsuits for Quincy Jones? Mortal sin. Don't tell anyone, you guys!

And finally, I saw a Bud Light commercial on Facebook a.k.a. that rich bastard Mark Zuckerburg's personal data Ponzi scheme for selling my individuality to the highest bidder YOU ASSHOLE!!! that translated "drinkability" as "tomabilidad." Ladies and gentleman, we've translated a nonsense word from one language to another.

Cue apocalyspe in three...two...