Soooo...

Had way too much "Christmas cheer" this weekend and got "Christmas sick." The maternal unit was "pissed." She tried to force-feed me menudo the next morning as soon as I woke up, but really, menudo is not appealing at all first thing in the morning. I think she did it as payback. Re-evaluating questionable decision-making patterns for the upcoming year.

In the meantime -- sleeeeep...

Feliz Navidad

Christmas is over. I survived yesterday's Mass in spite of questionable singing. I got two knives, a leather jacket, and cash as gifts. And my aunt snuck me two fairly strong sangrias, which I drank right in front of my mom's face without her knowing. All in all, a stereotypically Chucho-style Christmas.

Now, it's time to get back on another one of my half-assed diets. I wanna get a head-start on my empty promises New Year's Resolutions for 2010. And in all honesty, I'm not looking forward to the new year at EP Fitness. If it's anything like the Rec Center at UNT, for the next two weeks the gym will be flooded with lardos well-intentioned people clogging up the place like arterial plaque.

Seriously, though, I gotta get back on the ball. Sexy takes work. Stupid sexy.

I...Survived Thanksgiving? What the Hell?

Thanksgiving, the national holiday that honors the autumnal harvest and feast of religious extremists illegal immigrants our Pilgrim forebears, came and passed without great incident. I was in shock and frankly a little disappointed. Nobody even tried to stab anybody this year. Oh well. Here are highlight from my life in the past 24 hours:

* A family member who will remain anonymous casually dropped the phrase "because you know how the Jews control the world" at the Thanksgiving table.

* Turned away passive-aggressive jokes with funnier passive-aggressive jokes.

* Used my grandmother's cane to sing her an overdramatic, improvised Spanish love song as though I was drunk

* Decided that many people in my life are wastes of time (not in my family, just in general)

In other news, I found out that my aunt got her condo cheap because a woman supposedly got raped there. Don't know if I believe it, but apparently, if you're willing to clean up months-old blood spatter, it really brings the price down. Huh. That almost makes spending summers at her place for Sea World camp as a child terrifying, but we're not a superstitious family, and I'm pretty jaded. My cousin moved into a house where a teenage girl committed suicide and it was pretty much no biggie. Also found out that *our* house apparently used to be a distribution center for underground pornography ring, which explains SO MUCH about who I am...

The potential for girl-drama on multiple fronts seems unusually high right now. Part of it is just my generalized narcissism, but part of it is taking/has taken/could possibly take place in reality. I don't know if I'm inadvertently sending out signals or if my pheremones carry for miles, but something is up. There's something ovulating in Denmark...

I came up with a working definition of a date that I think pretty much sums things up for me. "Dancing is just dancing. A date for me is like a sit down and talk kind of thing...where I have to pick up another person's tab and it amounts to more than $5 in non-alcohol-related activity." Obviously there are flaws -- there is the Starbucks exemption and the obvious "man-date" exemption if McDonald's is on me -- but it's a good jumping off point.

Next post: life as a "freelance journalist".

Meltdown: Revenge of the Turkey

Quick update before I go out to take the edge off some holiday stress with tequila, rum, and whatever else they've got at Applebee's some Thanksgiving cheer. Add two (conservative religious) schools to the list of completed law school applications:

Pepperdine University -- Malibu, California (MAAAAAL-I-BOOOO!! *Shakes fist* You promised me a fee waiver! NOOOO!)
University of Notre Dame -- Somewhere in Indiana (fee waiver + Catholic choir boy = win)

Oh, if only they knew what they're getting into...

This Thanksgiving was gearing up to be the equivalent of Chernobyl with Pilgrims, but thankfully Divine Providence has kept feuding family members away from one another. Thanks be to God that there are other, shittier cities in this part of the state for them to go to. Look like any meltdowns this year will be in the Three Mile Island range. I can live with those radiation levels.

And with that, I'm off.

EDIT 11:16 P.M. Thanksgiving cheer not only dampens my hatred of haters, but it also makes me love everything. At the risk of sounding like a drunken sorority girl, I have some of the best friends in the world! (Okay, not true. A lot of times they're neurotic bums, but I'm happy to have people in my life, nonetheless. I could be a sad, lonely cat lady. Also, thank God I'm back at the house and not around people right now. I'd probably be hugging acquaintances of either gender and telling them I loved them.)

EDIT 11:21 P.M. Yes, I know it's Wednesday and the middle of the week. But tomorrow's the day the Pilgrims discovered America, so it's okay.

EDIT 11:22 P.M. The edit above is a joke. I know that Allen Iverson discovered America and not the Pilgrims, so please get off my case.

EDIT 11:25 P.M. I was gonna work on more law school applications right now, but something tells me I should wait until morning. By the way...I love you guys! *histrionically*

Heh

This bird needs to be the mascot of the social justice movement in El Paso.



Oh yeah, and Happy Halloween to the two people who read this.