My New Roommates

I graduated with my B.A. almost six months ago, but unemployment and the fact that I live with my family have kept me in a strange, suspended animation, quasi-college mindset.

For instance, in spite of the fact that it literally snowed in El Paso last night and there is still frost on the Franklins, the only place where I will wear closed-toe shoes is the gym, and that’s only because I have to. Since returning, I have also failed to adapt and develop “human” hours. My parents are still incredibly disturbed by the fact that I will eat or exercise at 9 p.m. since everyone else in the house is out cold by 9:45.

In a lot of ways, moving back in with my family…sucks. Aside from the batshit insanity (and I say that in the most loving, tender way possible), there are small things I took for granted at college that I’ve lost coming back here. College was the first time I had access to cable because my mom to this day still refuses to "cave." There were four different restaurants that were literally across the street. I could walk everywhere. I didn’t have to worry about exposed asbestos tiles in the dorm living room. We didn’t have to turn on the oven and leave the door open to warm up the building. And I never saw a single cockroach or mouse.

(The sad part is we're not poor. We are solid middle-class. We're just LAZY!)

The thing I miss most, though, is freedom and not having to answer to anyone. I’m not going to romanticize my college years. My living situation prior to graduating was less than ideal. Let’s put it this way – the day my roommate came up to tell me that he got his girlfriend pregnant, I knew that I’d probably heard that baby being conceived. However, while we weren’t particularly close, we were civil enough. He did offer me celebratory Smirnoff Ice, and I’m sure if I’d asked to join him and his lady in their athletic shower rendezvous he would have gladly welcomed the company. But more importantly, we stayed out of each other’s hair.

Yes, the paper thin walls told stories of young love. But I never had to tell him where I was going. He never questioned why I did anything. He didn’t care if I left a 7 pm and came in at 3 in the morning. And best of all, neither one of us ever charged into the other’s room announced in order to have irritating conversations.

My new roommates – they just don't get it. They're not as cool.